Calli won't be my cute shopping buddy, or my nightmare shopping buddy. She'll be a cute nightmare in kindergarten (and I mean that in the nicest possible way). Her life just got much more exciting and I am happy for her even though I'm also sad to let go. All I can hope is that I gave her enough skills to succeed in her new world. I forget sometimes that God did not give my kids to me, for my personal enjoyment or gain (although I get a lot out of it). God gave me to my kids. To watch out for them. To teach them. To love them unconditionally. And when it's time to leave the nest, it's not my place to hold them back or to be greedy for more time. "This is the day that the Lord has made. I will rejoice and be glad!"
I wish I had been wiser and braver and more loving the last 9 years (particularly yesterday when Calli wouldn't put on pants) - but I think God has covered those mistakes I've made. And in that belief I rest, this morning, I will be satisfied. I will be proud of all those hours I took care of my babies in the nest. I will be thankful that I had a part in their amazing little lives. And I pray for my Calli who sits in class right now. I pray that she absolutely rocks it today.